Dusk
by StrwbrryMlkshks
Summary: A retelling of Twilight: When seventeen-year-old twins Carina and Bella Swan leave Phoenix to live with their father in Forks, Washington, their world is turned on an axis when they meet an exquisitely attractive family at their new school that they soon come to realize are not wholly human. What's a girl to do when the one you love turns out to be a vampire? B/E OC/Rosalie
1. The Beginning

**DUSK**

 **Disclaimer:** The characters and events portrayed in this book are fictitious. Any similarity to real persons, living or dead, is coincidental and not intended by the author. All rights reserved to Stephanie Meyer.

 **Summary:** A retelling of Twilight; When seventeen-year-old twins Carina and Bella Swan leave Phoenix to live with their father in Forks, Washington, their world is turned on an axis when they come to realize that the exquisitely attractive family at their new school are not wholly human. What's a girl to do when the one you love turns out to be a vampire?

 **Warnings:** Predominantly OC focused, OC POV, Mature themes, Sexual themes

 **Pairings:** Bella/Edward | OC/Rosalie | Esme/Carlisle | Alice/Jasper | Emmett/ TBA

Sporadic updates depending how long it takes me to write 4k per page. Read at your own discretion.

I write this purely for fun only, don't expect a literary masterpiece.

* * *

 **PREFACE**

I'd never given much thought to how I would die — though I'd had reason enough in the last few months, but even if I had, I would not have imagined it like this.

This wasn't exactly how most people went after all.

I stare defiantly across the long room, into the dark eyes of the hunter, and he looked pleasantly back at me.

If I was going to die, I was at least happy that I would be dying in the place of someone I loved— Not that I was going down without a fight. Terrified as I was, weak as I was, I would make sure that my life ended in a blaze of glory.

The hunter smiled in a friendly way as he sauntered forward to kill me.

I gave a toothy grin back.

* * *

 **THE BEGINNING**

Carina Helen Swan.

I was born eighteen minutes and twenty-five seconds after my twin sister Isabella Marie Swan. It took exactly that amount of time for doctors to realize there had been a complication and then proceed to undergo an emergency cesarean by which point it became apparent that during the birthing process I somehow managed to turn around and sit upright within the womb. I often irrationally wonder if it was because of this that my mother, Renée Swan (nee; Higginbotham) favored my sister over me. I don't think she ever really forgave me for the scars. But, claiming that her behavior towards me was based solely on one incident would be juvenile, obviously there was more to it than that and the only way you could really understand the dynamic of our relationship would be to go right to the beginning of hers.

As my father, my grandmother and even Renée would tell me in snippets throughout my childhood- though I know my mother would guiltily protest my rendition of the story, Charlie and Renée's romance had been a whirlwind one. My father a born and bred Forks native, and my mother, a flighty Californian adventurist. They met straight out of high school when she was driving up the Pacific Highway with a group of her friends where they stopped to camp at First Beach in La Push during the same time Charlie was visiting his friend, Billy Black.

It took them one week of knowing each other to get married and to them it was a blissful life together. No one could deny that they were truly, _madly_ , in love with each other but a few months after their union, Renée found out she was pregnant and despite putting on a brave face, she was terrified. She never wanted children so soon, she had only just finally left her stifling mother's house and there was so much out there in the world that she hadn't explored yet. The day she went for her ultrasound was the day things slowly fell apart. Knowing you were going to be a young mother when you weren't ready was hard, but finding out that you were going to be a young mother to twins was a nightmare for Renée. Despite Charlie's reassurances, antenatal anxiety was all-consuming.

I suppose the only light within this dark period was during our birth, before I complicated things. When Renée first laid eyes on Bella, she had claimed that there had been a few seconds where every negative thought in her head flew out the window. My sister was beautiful, with dark hair and large chocolate doe eyes. It helped that she looked so much like our father, Renée couldn't help but fall in love at first sight.

Then I came along. Despite being identical twins— developed from one zygote which split and formed two embryos; genetics was a gamble. My hair was much lighter than Bella's, my eyes; darker. I had retained the Higginbotham genes a bit more than Renée had wished, reminding her less of Charlie and more of her mother, Marie. It didn't take a genius to realize the reason why my mother rarely looked at me, she could barely speak her own mother's name without frowning. It was ironic then that the daughter she loved so much had 'Marie' as her middle name, perhaps it was in order to associate the name with positive things.

I assumed it also didn't do much good that the brief moment where she forgot her anxiety and terror while holding Bella was thrown back full force due to my chaotic birth. Her cesarean scars would always be a physical reminder of how I was destined for failure in the race for my mother's affections.

Things soon took a further downturn when our paternal grandmother, Helen's, Alzheimer worsened and Charlie spent most of his days helping his father, Geoffrey, care for her. At the same time, depression began to take a major toll on Renée. She wanted Charlie to leave Forks with her and start over somewhere sunnier, but Charlie couldn't leave his parents. Depression mixed with postpartum hormones were always bound to be volatile and a few months after we were born Renée snapped, leaving Charlie and taking us with her.

With nowhere to go, Renée reluctantly moved back in with her mother in California. The distance between us increased the more Marie doted upon us, _especially_ me. Grandmother Marie was every bit the upper class lady she was bred to be and despite how disappointingly 'plebeian' her daughter had turned out; marrying a poor man from an indistinct forgotten town, she was adamant about instilling her values on us. Renée's desire to leave intensified the more I looked too alike her mother and too at home in the Higginbotham household, unlike sweet Bella— awkward like our father and a memory beacon for the time when Renée had successfully rebelled the stuffy life that Marie had planned for her. Tension grew to the point where as soon as Renée received her kindergarten teaching degree, we moved again.

Despite his devastation, Charlie still loved my mother which was why he didn't contest the child support or the divorce- instead pleading for my mother to just let him spend time with us. My mother didn't object, and four years later within six months of each other our paternal grandparents passed away leaving Charlie completely alone besides our summer visits.

Growing up, any hope that because we were twins, our interests would be the same were quickly dashed for Renée. Similarities would have bred more affection so that her favoritism wouldn't be as noticeable, after all, how do you pick favorites when you had two of the same kind? That wasn't the case for us.

Everything about Bella and I were fundamentally opposite to each other, it would be like comparing apples and oranges. Bella was always more compliant than I was and this was shown at an early age when my mother tried to put us into Ballet lessons. Despite Bella's deep reluctance she still went to the lessons whereas I simply flat out refused and with my mother's whimsical nature and short-lived hobbies and interests, this became a pattern. Bella would cave in to my mother's desires and I would rebel. It probably brought them closer but it felt too much like I was competing for her love and compromising my values, something I couldn't stomach doing.

Physical appearance was also a large factor. Renée always gushed over how beautiful my sister was. Bella's life indoors gave her a porcelain complexion, her clumsiness justified her lack of physical activity, leaving an impression of delicateness; even her shyness in social contexts was considered endearing.

In contrast, with my home-cut bob that I did with kitchen scissors at my dad's place when I was old enough to realize I didn't want to have long hair anymore, along with a dark tan from my life outdoors, I was never the pretty little girl like Bella was. I spent my youth outside running, swimming, hiking and fishing with my dad and uncle Billy. The fact that I also loved Forks was another point of contention between my mother and I. My mother had been _thrilled_ when Bella refused to visit Forks anymore, nothing against my dad of course, she asked Charlie to come to Phoenix instead. The only damper was that I was insistent on continuing my visits, meaning that she had to split our visitations so that I spent time in Forks alone with my dad for the summer and during the winter, for a week a year, my dad would visit Bella. It had went against all her plans for our holidays, or so my mother had said. She just didn't understand that though I loved the scorching suns of Riverside, California where we lived until we were six and then of course Phoenix, Arizona, the forests of Forks was also my home.

One thing Bella and I did have in common was our shared responsibilities in the house. With a mother who could barely raise herself, and often forgetful of bills and groceries, Bella and I had to raise ourselves and Renée as well. It was a sigh of relief from both Bella and I knowing that our mother would finally be taken care of when after a list of failed relationships under Renée's belt, she finally met a decent man by the name of Phil Dwyer, a minor league baseball player. When Bella suggested we move back to Forks to give them space, I agreed wholeheartedly, mostly to escape having to live with the awkward distance between my mother and I. We barely talked to each other and when we did there would be periods of stilted silence between us.

This was how we came to be currently sitting in the back seat of my mother's car with the windows rolled down on the way to the airport.

I huff at the dejected look in Bella's eyes as she nervously fiddled with the hem of her favorite shirt— sleeveless, white eyelet lace; despite being the one to suggest moving to Forks, I knew it was hard on her. She was so similar to Renée in that they both detested the small rainy town, and the pathetic smile on her face was testament to her poor acting skills.

I could never understand their dislike of Forks, the lush greenery and beautiful lakes could rival tourist destination spots if it wasn't so isolated and more mainstream. Of course I could understand Bella's love for the cloudless blue skies and scorching heat, but I always thought the cool green and blue of Forks suited her more, it was the perfect environment for warm blankets and reading, something Bella adored.

"Bella, Rina," our mom starts for what feels like the millionth time as we stand outside ready to board our flights, her eyes focused solely on Bella despite addressing the both of us, her tone beseeching, "you guys don't have to do this,"

I've become used to her not looking at me. It wasn't that she was being hostile, I knew she loved me in her own way, this was just our dynamic.

"It'll be fine," I interrupt cheerfully at the same time as Bella who replies semi-convincingly "I want to," with how many times she's said this lie, I was proud that at least it was sounding more truthful.

Renée looks doubtful but she lets it go, "tell Charlie I said hi,"

"we will."

"I'll see you guys soon," she insisted. "You can both come home whenever you want — I'll come right back as soon as you need me,"

I could see it in Bella's expression that she really wanted to stay, but the sacrifice in my mother's eyes were noticeable too— both of them incapable of hiding their feelings, so it wasn't a surprise when Bella bit her lips and stayed silent.

"Don't worry about us, mom," I reply, taking pity on my sister who would probably blurt out how much she didn't want to go and then hate herself for ruining things for our mother, "it'll be great and we love you, take care okay?"

Our mother pulls us into one final tight hug and then we were on the plane and she was gone. Bella finally lets her face look as miserable as she felt.

"Cheer up Belsy," I say as I put an arm around her, she glances at me sadly but with a half smile at her nickname, "listen, it'll only be for two years and then you'll get accepted into some fancy college and become a snooty English professor living it big in a fiery hot city of your choice,"

She gives me a halfhearted laugh but I can feel her relaxing a little at the thought, "I like how confident you are that I'll get into a 'fancy' college,"

"Hey, we both know your marks in school, especially in English, are nerd worthy, you're the smart twin in this family,"

"Ri, you're not dreadful academically either,"

"Not as great as you though, especially in English!"

"In PE though, it's basically your version of English," Bella argues, her eyes already lighting up now that she's distracted from her moping.

"True, true, I've actually been thinking of becoming a PE teacher or something, y'know cause the thought of causing children misery sounds pretty fun," I grin when Bella rolls her eyes at me,

"Why are you such a menace?" She grumbles at me, I shrug good naturedly, "you love me," I answer, Bella just shakes her head before rifling through her bag for her iPod and earphones, handing me one side, she rests her head on my shoulder and we settle back and listen to music together. I like Bella's taste in music, it's always calming and with my life sometimes feeling like a workout marathon, it's nice to just breathe sometimes.

It's a four-hour flight from Phoenix to Seattle, another hour in a small plane up to Port Angeles, and then an hour drive back down to Forks. When we landed in Port Angeles, it was raining. I inhale deeply, loving the smell of nature and clean air while Bella looks up at the sky with a frown.

"It'll be fine Bells, just think positive," I say quietly into her ear before I spot our dad standing by the police cruiser.

" _Daddy_!" I shriek joyfully as I barrel into him and hug him tightly, he chuckles and gives me a squeeze before releasing me,

"Ri-bear, how you been?" He asks happily,

"Oh you know, same old same old!" I answer as I glance at Bella who was standing at a distance looking uncomfortable, our dad looks at her too and I bite back a groan as both of them stand there stiffly. Sensing everyone's discomfort Bella slowly approaches him— only it was more like tripping into him.

"It's good to see you, Bells," he murmurs, smiling as he automatically caught and steadied her. "You haven't changed much. How's Renée?"

"Mom's fine. It's good to see you, too, Dad." Bella replies and I feel pleased that she didn't call him Charlie. I don't know why she insists on calling our dad by his first name, it was strangely formal and distant, it was weird. He was dad and Renee was mom. Dad places our bags in the cruiser while we get into the car and with how little Bella brought it doesn't take up much space.

"I found a good car for you, Bells, really cheap," he announces when we were strapped in the cruiser, poor dad wanted to bond with her so badly but they were both so alike and incredibly emotionally stunted.

"What kind of car?" Bella asks, her face looking disbelieving and highly suspicious.

"Well, it's a truck actually, a Chevy."

"Where did you find it?"

"Do you remember Billy Black down at La Push?"

"No."

"He used to go fishing with us during the summer," Dad prompts and I snicker at Bella's blank expression, of course she didn't remember— to Bella, everything involving nature and Forks had been traumatizing enough to be blocked out of her memories.

"He's in a wheelchair now," Dad continued when she didn't respond, "so he can't drive anymore, and he offered to sell me his truck cheap."

"What year is it?" I could see from his change of expression that this was the question he was hoping Bella wouldn't ask. He looked like he swallowed a lemon.

"Well, Billy's done a lot of work on the engine — it's only a few years old, really."

Bella looked like she was ready to start an argument, "When did he buy it?"

"He bought it in 1984, I think."

"Did he buy it new?"

"Well, no. I think it was new in the early sixties — or late fifties at the earliest," dad admitted sheepishly.

"Ch — Dad, I don't really know anything about cars. I wouldn't be able to fix it if anything went wrong, and I couldn't afford a mechanic…"

I sigh at the slip up, I knew it was too good to be true that she was calling him dad now, mom probably told her she wasn't allowed to call him Charlie to his face.

"Really, Bella, the thing runs great. They don't build them like that anymore." He persists, hoping to convince her.

Seeing how earnest our dad was being, Bella finally relents, "How cheap is cheap?" I knew she was very touchy on people buying her things of large monetary value. But then again, it made me awkward too so I couldn't blame her.

"Well, honey, I kind of already bought it for you. As a homecoming gift." Dad peeked at her through the mirror with a hopeful expression.

"You didn't need to do that, Dad. I was going to buy myself a car." Bella protests weakly,

"I don't mind. I want you to be happy here." He was looking ahead at the road when he said this. Oh god, here comes the Swan display of affection.

"That's really nice, Dad. Thanks. I really appreciate it." Bella responds, looking away as well, I grunt in disgust and she turns briefly to give me a glare.

"Well, now, you're welcome," Dad mumbles, embarrassed by her thanks, but I knew he was secretly pleased and touched; he never got to spend enough time with Bella, it was very exciting for him to have us live with him finally.

"Ri-bear, don't think I forgot you, I had Jake touch up yours just to make sure it was running smoothly," he added and I smile at him,

"Thanks dad, you're the best," and he was, I loved that he didn't play favorites. I loved that he cared.

We finally made it to dad's place and I practically leapt out of the cruiser when I saw my baby in the driveway. I had slaved away in a million casual jobs in order to raise enough to buy a used 1995 Suzuki Swift GL FWD, it was white and I loved it like it was my own child.

"Wow, Dad, I love it! Thanks!" I heard Bella say and I glance at the disaster that was called Bella's truck. It was absolutely hideous but Bella looked like she genuinely loved it. _Go figure_.

"I'm glad you like it," dad said gruffly, embarrassed again.

It took only one trip to get all of Bella's and my stuff inside the house. I had most of my things here already but Bella would have to go on a shopping trip sometime soon to get clothes suitable for Forks weather.

With how often I came to Forks and now with Bella here as well, my dad thought it would be worth it to renovate. Despite the drastic changes, it didn't even cost as much as you would assume- especially with most of the paint-work being DIY. The first floor was a simple repainting- the kitchen now a simple white, pale blue and wood instead of the pastel green and linoleum that it used to be. The dining room retained the same light blue walls, mostly because it looked pretty, and the living room was the same as well. Then came the renovation of the upper floors. Dad hired builders who tore apart Bella's room as well as the storage and bathroom and expanded the entire west side so that he could split it into two rooms, it was nice that I now had a window overlooking the yard like Bella. My old room next to Dad's room was now rebuilt into a bathroom with a storage dividing the bathroom and his room. It was pretty nice not having a wall between my dad's room and mine now, Bella at least didn't snore.

Bella glanced around surprised, "you guys _did_ redecorate," she walks into the brand new kitchen and I knew she was admiring the repainted cabinets and newly tiled floors, she liked to cook and now it wasn't in a pastel green kitchen.

"Wait till you see your room," I chirp as I drag her up the stairs to the door with a beautifully calligraphed 'Bella' sign on it.

With my help, dad and I redecorated Bella's room. Now being more teenage friendly and less like a nursery. We replaced the light blue walls for a deep blue with white border, and switched out the yellow lace curtains for a sheer lavender. I also bought an led string light from Kmart and hung it across the wall that the bed was leaning on. Bella's literary addiction wasn't forgotten, we lined the remaining walls with bookshelves where throughout the months Dad and I bought her nearly all of the classics as well as other books we knew locals wanted to throw out. Dad even bought an ottoman that was pushed against the wall under the window, and a blue bed set to complete the room.

It took us ages to get the house perfect, but it was pretty fun when we were decorating. Plus, it was a proud moment when Bella's jaw dropped in shock.

"What..." Bella breathed, at a loss for words, I grinned smugly at her.

"Bet you thought you'd come back to some dingy nursery didn't you," I say cheekily, Bella turns to me with barely in check emotion, I suddenly felt very uncomfortable.

"You guys did all this?" She asks quietly, I shrugged.

"Dad was the one who hired the people to renovate the house, his buddy gave him a pretty sizeable discount too, and I mean, I live with you so it wasn't hard to paint the room a colour you'd like or y'know, decorate it, and we know how much you don't like Forks so we thought we'd make it more comfortable for you, the bathroom is _amazing_ -"

She threw herself at me and hugged me tight, cutting off my ramble, "this is great Ri, thank you for this, honestly," she said, her voice muffled since she shoved her face into my neck, I patted her awkwardly,

"All good Belsy, Just hang out with dad more, he just wants you happy here," I mumble, embarrassed. I didn't think she'd be so touched by it. "You should thank him, he's the one who suggested the change and helped me paint your room and decorate it,"

"You're right, I have to go thank him, he's still by the cruiser isn't he?"

"Yeah, looks like it,"

I felt warm when Bella went downstairs and I watched her hug him as tightly as I hugged him when I saw him at the airport, hopefully she'll finally spend more time with him, he missed her a lot. Dad looked in high spirits when they stumbled in. Bella went upstairs with her bags, intent on seeing what books were on her bookshelves.

"Thanks Ri-bear, I'm glad we fixed up the house," Dad says, "it does looks pretty nice, doesn't it?"

I nod, "of course it looks good, we have great taste, and yeah, I didn't expect Bella to like it so much but I'm glad."

"Who knows, maybe she'll really enjoy living here" he says optimistically, I hope so, the thought of her moping for the next two years sounded like hell.

Going upstairs, I entered my room, if I was proud of Bella's room, I was definitely feeling accomplished with my own. I had always loved the green of the forests in Forks, so that was my bedroom's theme. With a deep green wall and hanging plants on the sheer green curtained windows, it just added to the ambiance of the rain outside. There was one bookshelf beside my desk located next to my bed and I had a stand set up opposite the bed for my TV and consoles. It was mostly so I could sit in a cocoon if blankets whilst playing video games. My actual school work would being done on my laptop. It was my quiet place and I wanted it to suit the natural environment that I lived in.

One of the best things about Dad was that he didn't hover. He left both Bella and I alone to unpack and get settled, a feat that would have been altogether impossible for our mother who didn't know the definition of space. I hoped Bella would be less gloomy with a more comfortable room, I didn't want her crying alone at night when she thought everyone was asleep but suspecting she might be wallowing in her misery and anxiety anyways, I gave a quick knock on her door. Hearing a muffled, "Who is it?" I answered quietly, "me, Belsy"

"Come in,"

Opening the door I gave her a weak smile seeing her red-rimmed eyes, at least the tears hadn't fallen yet.

"What's wrong Bells?"

"Forks High has a dismal total of only three hundred and fifty-seven — now three hundred and fifty-nine, Ri, all of the kids here have grown up together — their grandparents had been toddlers together. We're going to be the new girls from the big city, a curiosity, a freak," she mutters glumly, biting her lips in anxiety,

"It won't be so bad, honestly, you just have to think positive," I say as I run a hand through her hair, "think of how easy it's going to be to make friends!"

"That's easy for _you_ to say, you're the spitting image of what a girl from Phoenix _should_ look like!" She snaps bitterly, "you're sporty, you're tanned and you may not be blonde but you fit in to the sunshine stereotype...meanwhile I'm pale and clumsy,"

I roll my eyes, "you're being stupid, Bella, no one is going to shun you just because you're not tanned and athletic,"

"It's not just that! I just... I don't get along with people our age."

She was so melodramatic. I was highly sure it was because our mother encouraged it, always telling her she was older than she appeared and all that crap.

"Bella you get along with people our age just fine, it'll be okay I swear," I say convincingly, Bella just shakes her head miserably,

"Ri, _you're just not getting it_ ," she huffs wetly, "while you had a bunch of friends and guys crushing on you in school, I was the _outcast_ ,"

Bella always lamented over never having had a boyfriend but I saw the way the guys looked at her from afar. It was just difficult to approach someone who had no friends. Not because she couldn't get any, but because she didn't put in the effort and was lost in her own world, nose buried in a book. At least I tried to be social, and yeah I dated around but they never felt right enough for me to continue the relationship for more than a few weeks. I had tried once before to include her in my social events but Bella would always turn down every opportunity I gave her to meet new people.

"C'mon Belsy, it's a new school, the past doesn't matter anymore, just be your friendly self and put yourself out there," I nudge, she looks at me for a moment as if she's about to push her point further but I give her a warning look, sometimes with Bella you had to put your foot down or she'll continue being dramatic for hours. She sighs and nods.

"Sorry Ri-ri, I'm being a downer, you're right, I'll try," she agrees meekly before giving me a brief hug. As insufferable as Bella was sometimes, she was still my sister and I loved her. What a frustrating dynamic. Bella goes and cleans herself after a day of travel and I go downstairs to hang with Charlie who, predictably, is watching the sports channel for a while until she comes out. When she does, I decide to clean myself up as well, taking a steamy shower to wash away the grime of being in a plane before I brush my teeth, say goodnight to my family and then tuck myself into bed. The sound of rain against my window comforts me as I slowly drift off into a peaceful dreamless slumber.

* * *

 **Preview**

FIRST SIGHT: _I sleepily wake up to my alarm at around 5am. Thick fog was all I could see outside my window in the morning as I dress and do my daily routine before going out for a jog around the neighborhood. It was always good to get my endorphins kicking before a day of school and the scenery during my run was something enviable._


	2. First Sight

**DUSK: FIRST SIGHT**

I sleepily wake up to my alarm at around 5am. Thick fog was all I could see outside my window in the morning as I dress and do my daily routine before going out for a jog around the neighborhood. It was always good to get my endorphins kicking before a day of school and the scenery during my run was something enviable; wet dew covered the trees and grass making it glisten in the dawning light.

When the sun fully rises at 6am, I'm back home. Showering and changing into a plain dark grey sweater, jeans and sneakers, I cheerfully go downstairs to make my waking family a hearty breakfast of poached eggs, spinach, toast, sausages and bacon. Dad rarely buys groceries, choosing to live on a diet of diner food and fish fry made by Harry Clearwater but I had given him a list the night before our flight to make sure he had everything ready in the fridge and kitchen.

Dad comes down first, lured by the smell of sizzling meat, he gives me a grunt of thanks before digging in to his meal, humming in pleasure. I always made sure he had a decent home-cooked meal when I was around for fear of his health deteriorating from eating out all the time, though today's breakfast wouldn't really be considered healthy. Bella comes down next and she gives an appreciative smile at the smashed avocado I added to her plate.

Breakfast with dad was a quiet event. He wished us good luck at school and we thanked him. Dad left first, off to the police station and after he left, Bella and I wash the dishes. Before we head out towards our individual cars to get to school, I grab my favorite black bomber jacket and my gym bag. The thick fog of the morning now turned into a light drizzle of rain and my jacket would keep the water from soaking my clothes.

The drive was quick and finding the school wasn't difficult despite the fact that I'd never been there before. The school was, like most other things, just off the highway. It didn't exactly look like a school, more like a collection of matching houses, built with maroon-colored bricks. There were so many trees and shrubs I couldn't see its size at first.

I parked in front of the first building, which had a small sign over the door reading front office. No one else was parked here besides my sister so I was pretty confident that this area was most likely off limits. Walking inside, I approached the red-haired lady at the reception desk currently preoccupied with my fidgeting sister. Bella looked deeply uncomfortable with being the first one there and I slightly regret not carpooling with her to ease a bit of her anxiety, but I really missed my Suzuki.

"You must be Carina Swan," the woman says, turning her attention to me as she hands me two sheets of paper, "here's your schedule and map of the school, I'm Mrs. Cope by the way,"

"Nice to meet you," I reply pleasantly. She then proceeds to go through our classes for us, highlighting the best route to each on the map, then gave us each a slip to have each teacher sign, which we were to bring back at the end of the day. Mrs. Cope also explained to us that Forks High School would be different to our previous school. Due to how small the student population was, you were placed in a subject based on academic ability, meaning that sometimes students of higher or lower grades would be in your class as well. It came to no surprise that Bella and I didn't have the same schedule.

In order, Bella's schedule was: English, Government, Trig, Spanish, Lunch, Bio II and Gym.

Mine was: Bio I, World History, English, Gym, Lunch, Trig and Spanish.

At least we spent lunch together.

Mrs. Cope then smiled warmly at us and hoped, like Dad had, that we would like it here in Forks. I gave a cheerful wave while Bella gave a smile back that looked more like a grimace. When we went back out to our cars, other students were starting to arrive. Insisting we move to a spot actually labeled as student parking, Bella and I drove around the school, following the line of traffic. Parking in the spot next to my sister due to the lack of vacancies, I sigh in relief when she finally cuts the engine to her monster. It didn't sound healthy at all, more like a tractor than a truck and it was pulling in too much attention from the other students.

Stepping out of my car, I take out my map. It didn't seem too difficult to get to my classes which was great, I wasn't keen on being late my first day. I say goodbye to my sister as I begin trudging towards my first class located in Building 2. As I enter the lab, I was pleased that Mr. Molina seemed like a pretty fun teacher. He didn't ask me to introduce myself, instead partnering me up with a welcoming but shy guy named Ben Cheney. According to Ben, Mr. Banner who taught Biology II was a pretentious bore who lost all motivation to teach long before we were born. It definitely made me appreciate Mr. Molina all the more. Ben and I worked well together but since he had Government instead of World History he couldn't walk with me to my next class.

World History was located in Building 8 and taught by a strict elderly by the name of Mrs. Thompson. Like Mr. Molina, she didn't bother with an introduction and left me to my own devices in terms of seating arrangements. Not that there seemed like there _were_ many seating options anyways I notice, glancing at around the room.

I nearly choked on my tongue when I saw them.

There were three of them. They sat in the back of the classroom and though they didn't look anything alike, there was something oddly similar about each of them. Every one of them was chalky pale, the palest of all the students living in this town. Paler than my sister who never left the house.

They all had very dark eyes despite the range in hair tones. They also had dark shadows under those eyes — purplish, bruise like shadows. As if they were all suffering from a sleepless night, or almost done recovering from a broken nose. Though their noses, all their features, were straight, perfect, angular. But all this is not why I couldn't look away. I stared because their faces, so different, so similar, were all devastatingly, inhumanly beautiful.

The only boy of the group was tall and lean but strangely also muscular. He had honey blonde hair and a permanent grimace on his face as if he was in pain. Then there were the two girls— the first girl was short and pixie-like, thin in the extreme, with small features and deep black hair, cropped short and pointing in every direction. The second girl made my heart stutter and my head feel dizzy. There was no way this girl could be real and my eyes hurt from trying to process just how devastatingly gorgeous she was. She was statuesque and had a figure that was so perfect that _'beautiful'_ just couldn't fully encompass it, the kind that you had previously thought unobtainable without Photoshop. Her hair was golden, gently waving to the middle of her back. I couldn't even describe her face besides it being without any human flaws. Her lips were pink and pulled into a scowl— even when she was unhappy, she was breathtaking to look at.

Completely engrossed in gawking at them like an utter freak, I jumped when I heard an impatient cough beside me. Thrown back into reality, I realized I was holding up the class and hurriedly sat in one of the only available seats which was, you guessed it, beside the stunning blonde girl who was currently definitely smirking at the fact that I acted like a complete dork.

My heart thumped in my chest rapidly as I tried my best to focus on the teacher, but from this distance I could smell the girl beside me and... _god_ , whatever she was wearing smelled fantastic. I was so glad no one could read minds or they'd think I was a creep and I'd be socially shunned for the rest of my school life here. Not that it would be that long anyways, but it was the principle of things.

If I said I retained anything Mrs. Thompson was saying, I would be a dirty liar. I was too preoccupied by the fact that I really wanted to look at her some more.

Mustering up my courage, I turn and semi-confidently say, "Hi, my name is Rina, nice to meet you,"

The blonde beauty looks at me for a moment before pointedly turning her head away and dismissing me.

Wow. That's hurtful.

I wonder if she knows I'm having weird thoughts?

Dejected, I spend the rest of the lesson trying my best to pretend that I was paying attention even though I wasn't.

I didn't know why it bothered me so much that she dismissed me so quickly, without even giving me her name. I was used to the occasional people who didn't want to be my friend, it was part of life to meet people who didn't like you. I just couldn't comprehend why it made me feel...off...that _she_ didn't want to.

As soon as the bell rings, before anyone had even moved, the three of them gracefully glide out the door— the small girl pauses long enough to give me a small wave and smile before she leaves. At least the pixie seemed to like me enough.

It doesn't help that I'm even more weirdly bummed out when I don't see her in my English class, though I do see another boy with reddish-brown hair who is also like her and her two companions, appearance-wise. I wonder if they're related or something. If they _were_ related then bless their genes, I bet their parents cry tears of joy every time they see their faces. I notice the boy smiling and idly try to picture the blonde girl's smile. Her smile could probably launch a thousand ships, maybe two thousand, though she definitely didn't seem like a Helen. She looked more like someone who would eat weak-willed Helen for breakfast.

The boy snickers quietly and I'm almost certain he's crazy. No one sane stares off into the distance and starts giggling to themselves, and I knew he wasn't laughing at whatever Mr. Mason was saying. For some reason, a lot of the teachers in this school were incredibly dull and boring. Besides Mr. Molina, so far none of the teachers I've met seemed remotely passionate about their jobs, it was kind of disheartening to see.

When the bell rings, I make my way towards the Gym and I perk up when I see the pixie girl from my history class in the female change rooms— if she was here, maybe so was the other girl. Hastily changing into my gym outfit, I leave the change rooms and join the rest of the students on the bench. Scanning the crowd I sigh when I realize that she wasn't in this class either, but the bronze haired boy was.

Feeling a tap on my shoulder, I turn and blink in surprise.

"Hi there! Sorry for not speaking to you before, my name is Alice Cullen," chirps the pixie girl cheerfully.

"Hi, that's alright, you guys seemed like you were in a hurry," I reply with a weak grin, "I'm Rina,"

"That's a nice name, I noticed you were trying to talk to my sister before, I'm sorry if she was rude to you, she's a bit standoffish but she's really nice once you get to know her,"

"That's fine, I thought I did something to offend her, but I'm assuming she's like that with everyone?"

Please tell me I didn't offend her and that she's like this with everyone. At least it would make me feel better about not being an exception.

Alice's smile turned sympathetic, "oh, she's—"

Whatever Alice is about to say gets cut off by Coach Clapp's booming voice.

"Alright guys! Volleyball today, girls on one side and boys on the other! Teams of six each, Hurry up, new girl- come here for a second."

Everyone scurries to obey and I'm frustrated that I couldn't talk to Alice more about her sister. As I walk towards the coach, I notice the bronze haired boy talking to Alice, he looks disapproving and angry while Alice looks resigned.

What was that about?

The boy looks up and gives me a glare and I realize they're probably talking about me. I glare back. What? Were they not allowed to talk to me or something? Did Alice break some kind of rule they had by being polite?

"Is there something wrong, Coach?" I ask, choosing to ignore the douche for more pressing matters. It was highly anxiety inducing being called out in class.

"Nothing is wrong, here's the school's designated gym uniform, I appreciate you bringing your own though, not many kids do on their first day." He says as he hands me a plastic bag, I glance down at my clothes and give a wry grin.

"Ah, I always bring my gym bag everywhere, y'know in case I feel up for running- usually it just holds a spare change of clothes though, I wear my active wear out a lot," I reply, Coach Clapp looks amused.

"I take it you're an athlete then,"

"No, I mean not really, I was in the track team at my old school so we used to do our runs after school and early morning," I protest, my cheeks reddening, it was embarrassing being called an athlete— it sounded so professional.

"Damn, I wish the kids here liked sports enough to want to create clubs, you're going to be really bored here," he laments and I shake my head,

"I'll be fine, thanks for the uniform, Coach." I say as I put it on the bench near me.

"Don't mention it, go join that team over there," he points to the group with only five girls and I quickly comply.

Volleyball isn't as fun as running but it's still pretty enjoyable, especially when I do my best to score as many points as I can and the girls on my team soon start cheering when we're beating the boys. I look over at the other game happening near me and was surprised by how good both Alice and her brother was at it. They were the main point scorers on each side and I feel a bit disappointed that I didn't get to be on the team with a challenge. Not that my team was bad or anything, I became fast friends with a really nice girl named Angela Weber who was a preacher's daughter and incredibly sweet.

When the Lunch bell rings, Angela and I go change and then she leads me towards the cafeteria.

"That was a great game! You're really good at Volleyball, Rina, the other team barely stood a chance." Angela gushes,

"I get really competitive, and they did put up a pretty decent fight though, that guy- Tyler? He was really going at the game hard."

"I think Tyler just wanted to impress you, he rarely ever puts in that much effort usually,"

"Well, I guess he succeeded," I laugh "it was definitely impressive,"

"Don't let Lauren Mallory hear that, she has an on and off thing with him that she's highly territorial about," She warns, I roll my eyes, placing an arm around her shoulder whilst giving her a mischievous grin.

" _Yess_ , give me that drama, let me battle it out with this Lauren chick for the hand of fair Tyler," I joke and she mimicked being sick, her eyes crinkling good-naturedly at me.

"Don't say I didn't warn you when she poisons you or something," Angela scoffs as she leads me through the lunch line.

I order a lasagna and a bottle of orange juice before following Angela towards the end of a full table with several of her friends, who she introduces to me. I forgot all their names as soon as she spoke them except for Ben whom I had already met, but I perk up when I see Bella and a brunette walking towards our table.

"Bella!" I cry happily and wave her over to the empty seat beside me, Bella gives me a relieved smile and I knew she missed familiar company.

"Oh my god, Hi you must be Rina!" Says the brunette next to her, her voice shrill. "I've heard so much about you from Bella," she prattles and I stare at her incredulously before turning to Bella to confirm what she said was true. Bella just gives me a small shrug and I grin, I knew the girl had been exaggerating. Getting information from Bella was like pulling teeth.

"Hi there," I answer, "sorry I didn't catch your name?"

"Jessica! Jessica Stanley,"

"Nice to meet you too, Jess" I reply easily and she looks oddly smug by my easy use of a nickname. The group seemed impressed by her bravery in speaking to me so soon after meeting me and gives her awed looks. Typical.

The focus on Bella and I are soon shifted when the conversations started flowing. Jessica was incredibly talkative and especially so when a conventionally pretty girl with long, corn silk, blonde hair, green, fishy eyes and pale eyebrows sat down with us. Angela mouths the name 'Lauren' at me and I nod in understanding. This was Lauren Mallory and one look at her confirmed that she was definitely the leader of the popular girls. I was kind of proud of Bella for finding friends within the popular table on the first day, that was honestly an amazing achievement for my anti-social sister. It made me feel warm knowing that she genuinely did try today like she promised.

"Who are _they_?" Bella interrupts the conversation and we all look towards the focus of her attention. My heart stops when I notice the blonde girl from my history class sitting next to an incredibly handsome, big muscled—like a serious weight lifter, guy with dark, curly hair. For some reason my stomach lurches a little when I see his arm casually resting around her shoulder.

Huh, maybe the lasagna was off.

"That's Edward and Emmett Cullen, and Rosalie and Jasper Hale. The one who left was Alice Cullen; they all live together with Dr. Cullen and his wife." Jessica says this under her breath.

" _Rosalie_ —" I whisper inaudibly and flush when by chance of fate, she turns and locks eyes with me for a fraction of a second before looking away again. I look down at my food, unable to really digest why knowing her name made me feel so happy. It was a beautiful name— _old_ , but still suited her better than anything else, especially Helen.

"They are… very nice-looking." Bella struggled with the conspicuous understatement. Yeah, no shit.

"Yes!" Jessica agreed with another giggle. "They're all together though — Emmett and Rosalie, and Jasper and Alice, I mean. And they live together." Her voice held all the shock and condemnation of the small town, though to be fair, something like this would be scandalous anywhere. I lose my appetite and push my food away with a sigh.

"Which ones are the Cullens?" Bella asks, "They don't look related…"

"Oh, they're not. Dr. Cullen is really young, in his twenties or early thirties. They're all adopted. The Hales are brother and sister, twins — the blondes— and they're foster children."

"They look a little old for foster children."

"They are now, Jasper and Rosalie are both eighteen, but they've been with Mrs. Cullen since they were eight. She's their aunt or something like that."

"That's really kind of nice — for them to take care of all those kids like that, when they're so young and everything." Says Bella softly, I couldn't help but agree. They seemed like very loving people.

"I _guess_ so," Jessica admits reluctantly, "I think that Mrs. Cullen can't have any kids, though," she adds this as if it diminishes what they did for all the kids in their care.

"Well, _I_ can't have kids," I state dispassionately. Everyone looks at me in shocked silence except for Bella.

" _What_?" I ask, somewhat defensively, "I had polycystic ovarian syndrome, it was always rather severe and when I went to get the cysts removed the doctors told me that I was infertile. Since I couldn't have kids anyways, I had my ovaries removed to stop any chances of returning cysts or increasing my risk of diabetes."

It didn't really bother me, I never saw children in my future anyways. It was something I wasn't sure I ever wanted.

"I'm _so_ sorry," says Jessica softly, looking horribly awkward and guilty, I wave her away,

"Honestly, I'm not bothered, chill," I say and she relaxes in relief.

"Um, also, Rosalie Hale is staring at you," she adds hesitantly, I turn my head rapidly to look and to my surprise, she _was_. Except her expression was a mixture of conflicting emotions. We lock eyes before she un-furrows her brows and looks away again as if nothing happened.

I look away too. It was the most attention she had ever paid me today. I can't help but wonder what had made her look over here. She seemed intent before to pretend I didn't exist.

"Yeah." I mumble, confused.

"Have they always lived in Forks?" Bella asks and I roll my eyes at the question. Did she think I wouldn't mention seeing a group of incredibly attractive people during my summer visits if they did live here all this time?

"No," Jessica answers. "They just moved down two years ago from somewhere in Alaska."

"Which one is the boy with the reddish brown hair?"

It was surprising to hear Bella ask about anyone specifically. I had never seen her interested in anyone let alone a boy.

"That's Edward. He's gorgeous, of course, but don't waste your time. He doesn't date. Apparently none of the girls here are good-looking enough for him." She sniffs, clearly salty. I bet she was turned down at some point by him.

Bella stays silent, staring at the table. I look back at Rosalie then turn away again. It was off-putting seeing the guy next to her for some reason.

We stay a bit longer until more people start milling out of the cafeteria, I walk to my Trig class with Ben, he tells me about graphic novels and I can't help but find him as pleasant to be around as Angela. They really were the only two decent people I've met so far.

I hated Math more than any other subject in the school so time seemed to drag on in this class for longer than the others. When the bell rings, I rush to freedom faster than everyone else, dragging a disoriented Ben with me to Spanish.

Oddly enough, Edward Cullen looks incredibly furious and sick, sitting next to the hulking frame of his brother, Emmett. I don't know who pissed in his cereal but he was certainly looking very strained with his hands clenched tightly.

It was strange, he was fine all day until now.

With the final bell ringing at last, I meet up with a miserable looking Bella outside the office. The rain had drifted away, but the wind was strong, and colder. Poor Bella looked like she was freezing to death.

"Thanks for waiting, Belsy, you didn't have to stand here in the cold," I say as I usher her inside the warm office but she stiffens in front of me once we're inside.

I notice that Edward Cullen stood at the desk in front of us, he didn't appear to notice the sound of our entrance and was arguing with Mrs. Cope in a low, and I'd hate to admit it— _attractive_ , voice. He was trying to trade from sixth-hour Biology to another time — **any** other time.

Maybe Biology was what made him so mad, except for whatever reason, Bella looked incredibly upset. Did they have bio together? I try to recall her schedule. What could my sister have done to possibly make him want to switch classes?

Did she burn him with acid? Stab him?

The door opened again, and the cold wind suddenly gusted through the room, rustling the papers on the desk, swirling Bella's hair around her face. The girl who came in merely stepped to the desk, placed a note in the wire basket, and walked out again. But Edward Cullen's back stiffened, and he turned slowly to glare at Bella with piercing, hate-filled eyes.

What the hell was his issue?!

I glare at him threateningly back, if he wanted to try something I'll knock out his teeth.

He turned back to the receptionist.

"Never mind, then," he said hastily in cold frustration. "I can see that it's impossible. Thank you so much for your help." He then turned on his heel without another look at Bella, and disappeared out the door.

"How did your first day go, dears?" the receptionist asked maternally as we handed our signed slips of paper to her. Bella's face was white and sickly looking, she definitely didn't have as nice of a day as I did.

"Fine," She lied, her voice weak. Mrs. Cope didn't look convinced.

"It was pretty fun, I made a lot of friends," I answer more genuinely and Mrs. Cope smiles in relief.

Bella and I were silent on the way to our cars, I didn't know what to say to comfort her so I said nothing at all. It was probably good fortune that our cars were the last ones in the parking lot and as I followed Bella's car home, I couldn't help but feel bad when I see her fighting back tears through her reflection in the rear-view mirror.

* * *

 **Next Chapter Coming Soon.**

 **I apologize to those who reviewed, I didn't realize I had review moderation/approval on. It's now turned off, hopefully it's instant now.**


	3. Snowfall

**DUSK: SNOWFALL**

Bella and I had differing experiences with our second day of school. While we mutually found it easier now that the names and faces of our new friends were more memorable, and happy that it wasn't raining for a change, whatever happened between her and Edward definitely bled into her mood today; she was sleep deprived, antsy and looked nauseous at the thought of seeing him again— something easily noticeable with our new carpooling arrangement. When we finally arrived at school and proceeded to go our separate ways to class, I was certain for a moment Bella sincerely contemplated following me.

In the morning, I spent my time happily chatting with Ben in Biology, with him even offering to invite me over to see his collection of comics, something I definitely wasn't opposed to. I was looking forward to creating more a meaningful friendship with him and Angela.

My mood did fall slightly when I went to World History. It was equally as nerve-wracking as yesterday, being in the presence of the Hales and Alice. Rosalie was still as devastatingly attractive as the day before and I didn't think I would ever really get used to her beauty. It did pick up however, when I tried once again in vain to get her to talk to me, because while I didn't ultimately achieve my goal, I did notice that she seemed to be paying more attention to me— when I wasn't looking that is.

I was disappointed when Alice didn't speak to me anymore, and she looked mildly guilty about it too when the bell rang and she left without a goodbye. I assumed it was Edward's doing. Douche. Whatever he said to her in gym yesterday must have really distressed her.

Turns out, he was surprisingly absent today from school, missing both English and Gym. At lunch Bella was a mixture of relieved and distraught by his absence which oddly irritated me. In my opinion, Edward Cullen was a foul-tempered boy who was far too unworthy of my sister's attention and he definitely shouldn't matter enough to influence her feelings. Bella deserved to feel special and important, not rudely glared at. He even tried to switch classes! As much as I didn't like how Mike and Eric were so territorial over my sister, they at least _attempted_ to impress her which I respected.

The rest of the day ended reasonably well once Bella realized Edward wasn't around to sour her mood, and deciding on taking advantage of the good weather we drove to Port Angeles to stock up Bella's Forks friendly wardrobe. We agreed to take my car since it was an hour and ten minutes drive and both of us didn't trust Bella's truck to not break down half-way. Once we arrived, we bought a sizeable haul of parkas, flannels, sweaters, cardigans and even a long sleeved wool dress; all in muted colors and complimentary shades so that they could be mix and matched. We even bought a pair of water-proof hiking boots so that she could walk easier, which were slip-proof, and a beanie/scarf combo set in beige. While the price was rather steep, I offered to pay half, something Bella was deeply reluctant about without persistence. I insisted because I knew the items we bought were necessities. It was far too cold for her to be running around in outfits she wore back in Arizona.

By the time we arrived home, it was a few hours after sundown and I helped her carry her bags of new clothes into her room before we both started on preparing dinner. It wasn't an elaborate meal, just steak and potatoes with a side of salad. Dad undoubtedly didn't mind, looking content when he came in to the kitchen to check on us after he came home. He was thrilled that we made anything in the first place— especially something that looked edible. Our mother was an imaginative cook, and her experiments weren't always what you'd consider fit for consumption. Dad was unfortunately left with a lasting distrust in non-diner food afterwards, something I had been painstakingly attempting to change throughout the years.

Bella set the table and I called him in when dinner was ready. He sniffed appreciatively as he walked into the room.

"Smells good,"

"Thanks, dad," Bella replied and I hum in agreement around a cheeky mouthful of potatoes.

We eat in silence for a few minutes, both dad and Bella were alike in that they weren't very talkative, and I was mostly preoccupied with filling my stomach. It wasn't an uncomfortable silence anyways.

"So, how did you guys like school? Have you made any friends?" Dad asks as he piles his plate with a second helping.

"Well, I have a few classes with a girl named Jessica. I sit with her friends at lunch. And there's this boy, Mike, who's very friendly. Everybody seems pretty nice." Bella answers, clearly omitting the one exception.

"That must be Mike Newton. Nice kid — nice family. His dad owns the sporting goods store just outside of town. He makes a good living off all the backpackers who come through here. What about you Ri-bear?"

"Our friends are pretty mutual, I'm pretty close to a girl named Angela Weber who's also friends with Jessica, we all sit together. Oh- and a boy named Ben Cheney. He says he has a pretty substantial collection of comics and I'm planning on going to his place to check it out some time."

"The Webers are pretty decent folk, and Ben is a nice boy too, he helps out with church functions quite a lot. I'm glad you're both settling in alright."

"Do you know the Cullen family?" Bella asks hesitantly. I perk up, interested.

"Dr. Cullen's family? Sure. Dr. Cullen's a great man."

"They… the kids… are a little different. They don't seem to fit in very well at school."

Both Bella and I were surprised by the angry expression on dad's face.

"People in this town," he mutters, looking troubled. "Dr. Cullen is a brilliant surgeon who could probably work in any hospital in the world, make ten times the salary he gets here, we're lucky to have him — lucky that his wife wanted to live in a small town. He's an asset to the community, and all of those kids are well behaved and polite. I had my doubts, when they first moved in, with all those adopted teenagers. I thought we might have some problems with them. But they're all very mature — I haven't had one speck of trouble from any of them. That's more than I can say for the children of some folks who have lived in this town for generations. And they stick together the way a family should —camping trips every other weekend… Just because they're newcomers, people have to talk."

Dad was obviously passionate about this and I felt proud of him. I've always admired his sense of justice and his kindness to people.

"They seemed nice enough to me. I just noticed they kept to themselves. They're all very attractive," Bella quickly back-pedaled, not wanting dad to think she was being uncomplimentary.

"You should see the doctor," Dad chuckles, "It's a good thing he's happily married. A lot of the nurses at the hospital have a hard time concentrating on their work with him around."

Dad's phone rings, interrupting our conversation. He answers it and frowns, looking at Bella.

"It's your mother, she says she emailed you but you haven't been answering and she's worried." dad says, handing the phone to her.

Bella looks horrified as the disembodied voice in the phone starts rising in volume. Mom was definitely _very_ upset, maybe even hysterical.

" _Mom? No! I was just out buying clothes with Rina, I didn't- no mom, everything is fine, I just didn't see the messages, I'm sorry...yes everything is great, school is going fine...okay, I'll email you soon, yes, I love you too. Bye_." Bella returns the now silent phone back to dad.

I know I should say because I'm used to my mother's lack of attention it means that it doesn't hurt me when she didn't even ask to talk to me but I'm not a liar. It stung a lot that she only wanted to speak to my sister, but I knew my mother and she probably didn't think she was being hurtful. She was just callous to things that didn't matter to her. It was just unfortunate that I was one of those things.

I help Bella wash up and then I leave her to organize her new wardrobe while I take a shower and lay on my bed in the dark. Oftentimes I wonder if I should feel resentful towards Bella for being the favored child, it certainly wouldn't be hard to wallow in years of pent up negativity. I felt like I had a blazing inferno inside of me and through will alone, I've pushed it into a tiny, volatile ball. It was just waiting inside my chest, coating my lungs in thick smoke, threatening to turn my life into ashes at the smallest hint of weakness— on bad days it felt like it would consume me as well, leaving no remnants behind. All I can do is swallow hard and wait until it smolders into something manageable again.

It was hard to want to dwell on my pent up feelings because I love my sister, just like I love my mother and father. If I were to let go, and let that inferno run free, it would be me that would be hurt in the long run. I didn't want to destroy all that I've built with patience and understanding for some quick gratification and release. What was the point of starting things now? It was far too late for change.

I reluctantly do some math homework before exhaustion kicks in and I fall into a deep, restless sleep for the first time in forever. The only thing I remember from my nightmares is the orange flicker of flames and a heat so terrible I wake up drenched in sweat.

The rest of the week went by uneventfully. I got used to the routine of my classes, as did Bella, who became increasingly more confident when Edward Cullen didn't come back, but also guilty. I felt like her guilt was misplaced, I mean, how was it _her_ fault that Edward was a prick and threw a massive tantrum because my sister existed? Which I assumed was the case because my sister was very meek when it came to new environments and no way could she have offended someone to _that_ extent.

We continued to carpool together and it became sort of a sister bonding time in the morning and afternoons. In Gym, I excelled, and it seemed like everyone wanted to be on my team. Coach Clapp had never looked so animated, often coming up with more interactive and creative activities— the poor guy just needed someone who as into his subject as he was.

Rosalie still refused to talk to me, but she felt less distant than before. Or I was slowly adapting. I would take to doodling things in my book because from the corner of my eye I could see her peeking. She was always more fascinated by the mini comic stories I would do, usually involving the people in our class in some way, rather than just idle drawings. Like the comic strip I did on Friday about Mrs. Thompson actually being an immortal faerie general who had to flee into the human world and pose as a history teacher because her Kingdom had been conquered and her King executed.

Of course, it probably just entertained her because I was such a poor artist. The only reason I even drew at all was because of her. I just really liked having her attention.

By the end of the first week, Bella and I were basically settled. The rain stayed soft over the weekend which greatly improved Bella's sleeping problems, reducing the dark circles under her eyes to nonexistent. It was also nice that she looked less gaunt and sallow. Maybe dad was right and she _could_ learn to enjoy her time here.

When the bell rang for Lunch on Monday the week after, it had begun to snow; apparently it was the first snowfall of the new year and everyone seemed to be taking the opportunity to throw as much of it around as possible. Spotting my sister, Eric, Mike and Jessica, I excitedly dragged Angela towards them, cheerfully shoving a fistful of snow into Mike's face which started a fun snowball fight that Bella hastily moved away from. She was such a spoilsport sometimes, I mean, who hates _snow_?

After playing around for a while, we all shuffled into the cafeteria, with Mike and Jessica talking animatedly about the fight and who had actually won as we stood in the queue for food. I yelped when Bella froze in front of me, the pumpkin soup I grabbed almost spilling everywhere at the sudden stop. She was looking down and her ears were red, I looked around wondering what had caused her to suddenly look so anxious before my eyes landed on Rosalie's table.

Edward Cullen was back.

"What's with Bella?" Mike asked Jessica.

"Nothing," my sister answered. "I'll just get a soda today."

"Belsy, you're going to be hungry," I say with worry, Bella just shakes her head.

"Actually, I feel a little sick," her eyes were on the floor and I hated the fact that Edward was back and upsetting her like this.

"Alright," I sigh, as we paid for our meal before we went to our usual table, Bella slowly following behind. Mike kept making a scene and asking her what was wrong and I glared at him to be quiet. She looked about ready to bolt out the door and all the way home.

My eyes are inevitably drawn back to Rosalie and I held my breath at the sight of her smiling and laughing. This was the first time I'd ever seen her so animated and I was completely entranced by it, my eyes glued to her as she ran a hand through her wet hair.

"What are you guys staring at? Bella? Rina?" Jessica intruded, her eyes following our stares towards the Cullen's table.

At that precise moment, Rosalie's eyes lock with mine and I flush as I turn my focus back on my soup.

"Edward Cullen is staring at you, Bella" Jessica giggles before looking at me, "why do you keep looking at Rosalie Hale? You do it a lot."

"Shut up Jess," I mumble before I take a bite out of my bread, she looks mildly offended before a more spiteful voice pipes up at the end of our table.

"Isn't it because she's a dyke?" Says Lauren, smirking at me, "bet you're _in love_ with her."

Rage and humiliation flares up inside of me, " **Shut the fuck up** , _Lauren_." I snap, trying desperately to push it down.

"Why so defensive? Did I hit a sore spot? Are you _gay_?" She taunts, amused by my reaction. My hands tighten into fists and I seriously consider decking her in the face.

"Leave it, Lauren," Angela warns, backing me up.

"Whatever," Lauren replies, rolling her eyes before turning her attention to whatever it was that was entertaining her before.

An awkward silence falls onto our table and my eyes flicker towards Rosalie again before looking back at my food. She was still looking at our table. At _me_.

I felt irritably hot, as if I was being burned alive from the inside out.

I had never given much thought to my sexuality, always assuming I was straight. But I wasn't completely not self-aware enough to admit that there was more to it than the boys I previously dated just 'not being right". It was the fact that I felt no attraction at all that was the problem. No matter if they were celebrities or real men, I just didn't feel anything for them. I had thought that if I dated around, I'd feel a spark or _anything_ really but it just reaffirmed that I didn't find men romantically attractive.

I also knew that I was unhealthily fascinated with Rosalie, whom I had to keep reminding myself was in a relationship. It didn't take a genius to conclude that I was possibly, most likely, crushing on her, so it wasn't the suggestion that I liked her that I had been offended by, it was Lauren's lack of respect. She had no right to talk about my feelings or speculate on my sexuality in front of all our friends like that.

That was a right that was exclusively mine to bring up, and I definitely _didn't_ want to bring it up.

"He doesn't look angry, does he? Edward, that is," Bella asked Jessica, taking the tension away from the table, and subtly bumping her shoulder with mine comfortingly. She was really sweet sometimes.

"No," Jessica replied, sounding confused by Bella's question. "Should he be?"

"I don't think he likes me," Bella confided. Putting her head down on her arms.

"The Cullens don't like anybody… well, they don't notice anybody enough to like them. But he's still staring at you."

"Stop looking at him," she hissed.

Jessica snickered, but she looked away.

Mike interrupted then — he was planning an epic battle of the blizzard in the parking lot after school and wanted us to join. Jessica agreed enthusiastically. The way she looked at Mike left little doubt that she would be up for anything he suggested. I kept silent, along with Bella. I'd usually be up for it but my mood had been significantly soured by Lauren's comments and I really just wanted to go home.

Deciding that I wasn't up for class, I spent the rest of the day in the nurse's office, laying down. She didn't really complain since I only had three classes left anyways and left me alone to sleep.

When school ended, I met up with Bella outside of the gym before we both walked together to her truck. It was raining and freezing, a combination which made us both eagerly warm ourselves with the heater turned up to full blast. Bella unzipped her jacket, put the hood down, and fluffed her damp hair out so the heater could dry it on the way home; it made me doubly glad that I didn't have long hair, mine would dry significantly faster than hers.

To my surprise, she was oddly perky- happier than I'd seen her in a while, even more alert? Maybe Edward apologized for being horribly rude to her. She unquestionably deserved an apology.

Proceeding to leave the parking lot, she looked around to make sure it was clear but something set her off and I shrieked when Bella threw the truck into reverse, almost hitting a rusty Toyota Corolla in her haste. Lucky for the Toyota, she stomped on the brake in time.

I stare wide-eyed around, looking for the source of her poor driving skills and spotted Edward Cullen's Volvo and him leaning against it, staring at us. It made me groan. Of course Bella would endanger everyone because a boy was looking at her. Great. Bella took a deep breath, still looking out the other side of her truck, and cautiously pulled out again, with greater success. I watched as she stared straight ahead, determinedly, as she passed the Volvo. We both saw him laughing in his car and I roll my eyes as Bella's face turned tomato red in embarrassment.

At least we made it home safe and sound.

* * *

 **Not exactly 4k, but here you go.**


End file.
